A 7 Step Process to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt
A 7-Step Process to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt
Two of the biggest obstacles that stagnate us from reaching our next level of success are fear and self-doubt. We all have moments in our lives that this overcomes us. Regardless of where you fall on the fear/self-doubt spectrum, there are many things you can do to rise above these emotions and unstick so you can get to those higher levels of peak performance, productivity and overall happiness.
Conquer your fear and self-doubt with this 7 step process:
1. Identify what you’re actually afraid of. What do you really fear? Most of us don’t have to worry about being eaten by tigers. Our lives are rarely in danger. Self-doubt starts when we fear making a fool out of one’s self or not feeling we are good enough.
● If you want to start a business, but can’t seem to get started, what is your real concern? You are not good enough? Your expertise? What will others think if you fail?
● You want to ask someone out on a date that you have known on a friendship basis, is your fear just rejection?
● You were offered an amazing job in a new city? Is your fear of uncertainty?
2. Find situations related to your fear that are mildly uncomfortable. Perhaps you have a fear of public speaking. What could you do that’s similar, but less terrifying to push through this? Suggestions:
● Give a speech to a group of friends
● Volunteer to lead a small group meeting
● Start conversations with strangers
● Visualize yourself giving a speech
● Join a group like toastmasters to practice your skills amongst others who share the same goal of becoming more effective public speakers.
3. Take action. Thinking creates and magnifies fear. Then we sit in a period of ruminating these fears through our thoughts which creates self-doubt and fear. One of the best ways to get over this is to immediately take action before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it.
• Remember, if action is not taken, your thoughts of self-doubt and fear will manifest without any resolutions. You must be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
• Most people are more successful, happier, and less afraid if they think less and did more. Stop overthinking the what ifs.
4. Visualize yourself being successful in what you are doubting or afraid of. Imagine you have a twin that’s similar to you. If you could build the perfect twin, what would they be like? What skills, beliefs, and attitudes would they have?
● Allow yourself to become that twin and create a clear visualization that you’re doing what you are doubting and fearing. So, if you are fearful of public speaking, visualize people applauding you after a keynote speech and telling you how inspiring you were.
5. Allow for the small successes. Set yourself up to win. Set goals that are attainable. Baby steps lead to greater wins and reduction of self-doubt. Make the game so easy that you can’t fail. As you gain confidence, up the stakes a little more. Get used to being successful in the situations that cause you to feel fear.
● If the thought of making 100 cold calls a day makes you break out in a cold sweat, give yourself the goal of making just five cold calls. The next day, you can eight.
● Believe in yourself and create the positive mindset that all will be ok. Affirm this to yourself.
6. Be realistic. What is the worst consequence you are likely to endure if the thing you fear comes true? It’s probably not anything you can’t handle and the best part is that you will learn and grow from the failure.
● What happens if the publisher rejects your book? What if your speech doesn’t go well? What’s actually going to happen to you? Will you still be safe? Will your family still love you?
7. Ask for help. Whether you need some assistance from a friend or a professional, there’s no shame in getting help. You’d get help if you had a broken leg. Ask others to help you move out of your doubts and fears. Often, when we internalize our doubts and fears they can become distorted and come out of alignment with reality.
• Saying these thoughts out loud can clear this distortion away and allow you to gain a different perspective.
Imagine what your life would be like if you could overcome all of your fears and self-doubt. What would be different and how many new opportunities would open up to you? Step out of those comfort zones. Challenge yourself so you can face your fears and doubts and live your life to reach all your desired outcomes.
My Aha Moment is about helping you to find and achieve your desired success.